Julie Stonberg, LCSW
I am a New York State licensed Clinical Social Worker with a private practice on the Upper West Side. I work with individuals, couples, families, and teens to navigate life transitions, reduce stress, and build stronger relationships.
As a voracious reader and a former journalist and editor, I am endlessly curious about the stories we carry, and the different lenses through which we view the world. I believe that individual and family issues cannot be separated from the social, cultural and political context in which they exist, and I will help you deepen an understanding of those factors and how they play out in your life. Married for 30 years and a parent to three young adults, I bring years of personal and professional experience to my work.
Hi! I’m Julie.
As human beings, we are hard-wired to connect with one another, and recent neurobiological research demonstrates this in fascinating ways. We grow within and towards relationships, struggling to connect and make sense of the world through our experiences with others.
When we feel isolated or disconnected, and this can happen even within relationships, we become depressed. Yet, in a culture that tends to value separation, individuality and personal achievements over connection with others, we can sometimes doubt ourselves and this natural human need.
The Harvard Study of Adult Development, (the longest ever of its kind– 85 years and counting) takes this idea even further. The data stresses the importance of being proactive in building and maintaining relationships and that, in fact, it is the strength of our connections with others that can predict the health of both our bodies and our brains as we go through life.
Finally I believe that to be human is to struggle at times with difficult feelings and situations and that the answer is not necessarily to assume that something is wrong with us, or to do whatever we can to not feel them, but instead to listen to and honor them and understand that sometimes the only way to a brighter place is through a dark one.
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I tend to be action oriented and will challenge you at times, encouraging you, for example, to incorporate healthy habits NOW, and not necessarily waiting to feel “motivated” to do so (because frankly, on some level who ever does?). Think of these as prescriptions: exercise in the morning, cook a nutritious meal, meet a friend for coffee, to name a few. If you are feeling super overwhelmed, we can start by breaking down the elements to figure out why.
Carefully we will begin to answer the bigger questions, such as why you react in certain ways or hold onto narratives that aren’t helpful, and we continue to talk about changes that you can make - for example - to break a reactive cycle with your partner or teenager.
When it comes to relationships, I will help you understand that the only person you can control is yourself. But that in fact you CAN control yourself, and more often than not when YOU change, you will see others change in response (I promise). This goes for parenting, romantic partners, friendships, and co-workers! When this clicks, it’s empowering, and you end up feeling more positively connected to the people you care about, and ultimately in better control of yourself.
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I started working with families more than 20 years ago, as a Court Appointed Special Advocate in Westchester County, serving as a voice for kids in the foster care system. Hoping to expand on this work, I earned my MSW from Fordham University, and eventually helped launch a program to provide post-adoption services to families adopting through the child welfare system.
After getting licensed as a Clinical Social Worker in New York State, I spent four years working in an urban, community-based family mental health clinic with individuals of all ages as well as with couples and families. Looking to deepen my expertise, I trained in family and couples therapy through the Ackerman Institute in Manhattan and the Family Institute of Westchester. The idea of understanding a person within the context of their family and relationships made so much sense, and gave me a framework on which I base my work today.
Since opening my private practice in 2012, I have worked with clients of all ages and backgrounds. I have presented to groups and social work students, supervised LMSW’s for clinical hours and directed social work services in a special-needs nursery school. I have also completed professional certifications in collaborative divorce, cognitive behavioral therapy including special trauma-related protocols, adoption-related therapy and complicated grief.
SPECIALTIES:
Relationships
Life transitions
Stress
Grief and loss
Parenting
APPROACH:
Family Systems
Attachment-based
Emotionally-Focused